When Mad Cows ATTACK!
by Dragon Servant Kida
Summary: Have You ever wanted to see some of the most popular YuGiOh characters go head to head with crazed talking gang of rabid mad cows and their insane feline leader? Fear the fluffy in this fic WHEN MAD COWS ATTACK!
1. Uninvited Guests

Disclamer: I dont own Yu-gi-Oh, but the rabid Mad Cows are MINE!

Chapter one: uninvited guests

Kaiba nervously straightened his coat. "He'll be here soon," he thought. Kaiba had done the inevitable. He had asked Joey out on a date. Kaiba had made reservations at a five-star luxury resort in the Niagara region, right near the Canadian border. He and Joey were going to spend the weekend. Joey had gone to a local arcade after lunch. He said he would be back for dinner, and he knew that Kaiba had planned some thing special. Now Joey was late and he left Kaiba sitting alone in the world famous Steakhouse all by himself.

"Stupid mutt." He muttered under his breath. Just then, Joey came running towards his table. " Jez, sorry I'm late. They had this cool game at the arcade an I lost track of time…" "Just sit down and catch your breath, Joey. You can tell me over dinner." Kaiba smiled. It wasn't a smirk, it was a genuine smile. Those were rare for Kaiba, and usually, only Mokiba made him smile, that was, before he met Joey.

Kaiba and Joey ordered dinner and sat, talking and eating. They were having the time of there lives when, MOOOO! The quiet chatter stopped. Everyone stopped eating and began to search for the cause of the strange noise. Even Joey stopped bragging about his all-time pinball high score to help.

A little while past and eventually ever one gave up. Joey went back to bragging and the chatter picked up again. Kaiba was playing with a strand of Joey's hair, not really caring too much about what he was saying. Suddenly, there was a rumble in the distance. It grew louder and louder, it was the sound of hoof beats, and then MOOOOOO! MOOOOOOO! MOOOOOOOOOOO! Suddenly one of the walls of the Steakhouse collapsed, reveling none other than, MAD COWS! RUN! People ran in every direction screaming as the insane cows tied people together, Did the hula with skirts made from sausages, and worst of all Shredded Rare Cards! Kaiba, screaming like a girl, ran around yelling "Joey! Joey! Has anyone seen my puppy?"

Finally Kaiba spotted him on the other side of the room. Joey was bound and gagged with sausages and was getting a complete makeover form one of the Mad Cows. "No Joey! I'll save you!" All Joey could say was "MHMMMP MHMPMMH!" which means something like "I love you Kaiba!" One of the Mad Cows, apparently the leader, Stepped forward, "I'll be Back!" He said. "No don't take my Joey! - Wait, you can talk!" asked Kaiba. "Uh look over there!" stammered the Mad Cow. Kaiba turned to look and when he looked back, Joey and the Mad Cows were GONE! "NNNNNNOOOOOOOO!" cried Kaiba, I'll get you back, Joey!"

Far, far away on a little island some were in the Pacific Ocean …

Sharp teeth and yellow eyes catch the little light in the small dark room. I'll get you Kaiba; I'll get you, and your little dog too! Joey is in the corner of the room, still struggling against his beefy bindings. Evil cackle sounds in the room, is soon joined by the psychotic mooing of mad cows, and the howling laughter of who knows what, along with some evil blond laughter. Muhhhhhhaaaaaaa-cough, cough. Hehe, hairball. Be prepared, Yu-Gi Mouto, your next!


	2. The Second Strike

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, and you don't either, do you?

Chapter Two: The Second Strike

Yu-gi was feeding his new pet goldfish. " Here you go fishy!" Said Yu-gi as he feed the fish some fish food. The funny thing was with that fish, he rarely ever moved. He just sort of floated there, on his back. Yu-gi tapped on the bowl. Yami projected himself from the puzzle and stared down at Yu-gi. " I think my fish is sick," said Yu-gi in a worried voice. "Yu-gi", the spirit began, "I don't think he's sick, I think he's"… but just them Yami was interrupted by Yu-gi's Grandpa, who had entered Yu-Gi's room (without knocking of course.) "Hi Grandpa!" said Yu-gi cheerfully.

Yu-gi's grandpa muttered a quick greeting, and began to sweep the floor. " How many times are you planning to sweep Grandpa?" inquired Yu-gi. "Oh about eight more." He replied. "Yu-gi, Yami, do mind going to watch the store while I sweep?" "No we don't mind, Grandpa!" replied Yu-gi, eager to please as usual. He turned and walked out of the room bringing the millennium puzzle with him. As soon as he was out of sight, Yu-gi's grandpa took the dead goldfish, flushed it, and replaced it with a new one. "That was close", he thought.

Things were going smoothly at the shop for Yu-gi. A dark-haired girl walked into the store purchased a booster pack and left. Nothing really happened until a fat little raccoon waddled into the store. Yu-gi grabbed his Grandpa's spare broom and tried to shoo it out the door. The raccoon growled and began foaming in the mouth. "Yikes!" Yu-gi backed away slowly from the raccoon. "Yami, I think we have a problem", he said. Yami took over and tried to use shadow magic on the raccoon. All that did was make the rabid raccoon angrier.

Suddenly, the door of the shop swung violently open. About thirty raccoons flooded in. The grabbed Yu-gi and carried him out on there backs. "Help!" Yu-gi yelped. But no one was around to hear him. The raccoons carried him and the millennium puzzle out to a car parked out side of the game shop. They threw Yu-gi in the back of the car and gave a thumbs-up to the driver of the car, which was a Mad Cow. The car speed away, off to an unknown location.

Special Report

(This is what showed up on the evening news.)

Two people now are allegedly kidnapped by "Mad Cows" the hostage notes could not be read, however, the first one was in mad cow and the second was written entirely in raccoon. This investigation is leading detectives on a "wild cow chase", according to authorities, "the mad cows are criminally insane but they are also skilled. It is warned the mad cows are extremely dangerous and armed. Details at Eleven.

HA! I did it! There's chapter two1 Thanks to the ONE person who reviewed! ; ;

PLEASE R&R!


	3. Never Trust A Squirrel

Thanks to all those who R&R the last chapter! Thanks to SportZScooby, who gave me inspiration for the next chapter. Even If you have reviewed already, feel free to review again. I appreciate every review! I like getting suggestions, so if you have any, send me a review!

Chapter Three: Never Trust A Squirrel

A pair of Yellow eyes floated in the darkness. Four long, sharp cat claws drummed at the arm of its chair impatiently. The leader of the Mad Cows stood in front of it. He bowed and began his report. " Two of the targets have been captured, we missed Seto Kaiba, though." " Failure is not an option with the amount I pay you." The voice from the darkness sounded annoyed. " Yes, I know. We are now sending the RS to pick up the next target. " Excellent." The voice said. There was a hint of purr in it. " And how are the prisoners?" "They are in the containment room waiting for you." The captain bowed and went toward the exit. " I still expect you to bring me Kaiba." The voice said. The captain of the mad cows bowed again and exited the room. " This is going to be fun." It thought and swiveled the desk chair around, away from the light.

Some where in Domino City…

Ryou Bakura was taking a walk in the park. It was a fine, sunny day. He stopped by a birdbath. Two adorable birdies were talking a bath while singing a happy little song. Ryou stopped to admire them. Suddenly, the thief Bakura took over Ryou's body and blast both the little birdies to the shadow realm. " What did you do that for?" asked Bakura looking at the lifeless birds, which had fallen out of the birdbath and onto the ground.

His Yami smirked. " I'm just keeping in practice for the pharaoh." He said. He pushed the unconscious birds under a bush with his foot. " Besides," he said, " Those birds were beginning to annoy me." Tears weld up in Ryou's eyes. " Can't you be nice for once?" He asked, sniffing back a sob. " Let me think…" said Bakura. "No." Ryou thought for a moment. " If you aren't nice, I'll…" "Do what? Said Bakura, "cry?" "No I'll give the millennium ring to the pharaoh!" He finished triumphantly.

The smirk dropped off Yami Bakura's face. " Fine." He grumbled, "The only reason why I'm cooperating is because I won't be handed over to that fool of a pharaoh." He projected himself from the millennium ring. " Well there aren't any animals around." He said. "Let's go buy some nuts from that guy over there." "Okay." Said Ryou. He and his Yami walked over to the guy selling nuts from the street vendor. There was something strange about that man. For one thing, he had horns on top of his head and an utter. Ryou stopped to look, but Bakura possessed his body and forced him to walk away.

As Yami Bakura walked along eating the peanuts, A little squirrel came along and sat down in the path in front of him. It looked so cute, even Bakura had to agree. He gave the squirrel one of his peanuts. ( no pun intended.) and walked on. The squirrel came back, and this time, He brought friends, about three hundred friends. " Nice squirrels" said Ryou, attempting to back away. The squirrels formed a circle around Him and Bakura. " Do you want another peanut?" He asked. He threw a peanut into the growing hoard of squirrels. They ignored it. They drew closer and closer to Bakura and Ryou. They were completely surrounded.

The squirrels pounced on Bakura. By now, all the squirrels were foaming at the mouth. They began to drag Bakura and Ryou across the park by their hair. "OW! Let me go you stupid squirrels!" Yami Bakura shouted as they dragged him across the park's parking lot. Once again, a car was waiting for the victim and the driver was a Mad Cow. The squirrels chattered something to the Cow. He nodded. Yami Bakura attempted to use Shadow magic on the Mad Cow with no prevail. The Squirrels tied Bakura up and covered his mouth with duct tape. They slammed the door and the car sped away. The funny thing about all this is, no one in the park seemed to care.

Yay! I have completed chapter three! Send me reviews and ideas, and I'll write more!


	4. Kaiba's Capture

Yep, I'm back! Prepare for madness!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

Seto Kaiba sat alone in his office. He had to find Joey…he just had to. He looked out his office window at Domino city below. Suddenly the door of his office swung open. Standing in the door way was a pampered-looking fluffy white kitty. Kaiba stared and the cat stared back. It ran over and jumped on his desk. The cat seemed nice enough. He out stretched his hand to pet the cat. The cat did a ninja-flip, and took a net-gun from its fur. It shot the gun at Kaiba, who was quickly entangled in a net. The cat swaggered out of the room and three mad cows entered. Kaiba struggled in the net, and was quickly knocked out by one of the cows.

"Bring him to my chopper." Said the white cat to one of the cows. "Now the real fun begins. You will receive payment once we get back to my island. Kaiba's duel disk lay on his desk, along with his deck. The cat stared at the disk and the cards. She pointed to them with one claw. "Bring those, he's going to need them," she said gesturing to Kaiba.

When Kaiba woke up, he was in a dark room covered entirely in carpet. He groaned and rubbed the spot on his head were the mad cow had hit him. "Kaiba, are you okay?" asked a familiar voice. He looked up, and there was Joey standing over him. "Joey!" Kaiba said. He was relived to see the mad cows had not hurt Joey, although he was now wearing a pink cow suit. He looked down and saw he was wearing a white one. "This is odd." He thought.

He looked around the room as soon as his eyes had adjusted to the light. He saw that the room had a bare floor and a carpeted ceiling. All around the room hung things you wouldn't usually see on walls. There regular clothing was nailed to the walls. Joey and Kaiba both had their duel-disks attached to their arms. Kaiba took out his deck and checked it over.

None of his cards were missing or damaged. Suddenly, the door on the ceiling opened and Yu-gi and Bakura fell through a hole in the roof. They landed in a pile on top of Kaiba. "This is getting really strange", Kaiba thought as he looked up at the door on the carpeted ceiling. Suddenly, the floor broke and the four Duelists fell through the empty darkness were the floor had once been. The fluffy white cat cackled a long, evil laugh as the four duelists fell to there doom, an eternity of baby sitting hyper-active super powered children, without pay.

Kaiba woke with a start. He had fallen asleep at the table; He was still in the restaurant wanting for Joey to have dinner with him. " So it was all just a dream? He inquired out loud. A nearby waitress put down the menu that was covering her face. She was a cow, and she was foaming at the mouth. "I wouldn't be so sure about that," She said with an evil grin. "NOOOOOOOOOO!" Kaiba screamed and bolted from his table. He ran smack into Joey on his way out. "Hey Kaiba sorry I'm late. I…" "Why don't we go back to the hotel and have pizza instead." Kaiba suggested, with a nervous look behind him, toward the restaurant door. "This place isn't that good anyway."

The End?

Thanks to all those who R&R, you've been a huge help!


End file.
